Saturday, October 23, 2010

Every time I log on there are new followers.. I feel so popular XD

I miss reading all my lovely blogs, I've been so busy and not in a good way. I'm drained, directionless, and disillusioned by everything regarding the future. In all likelihood I will get into a goodenoughcollege; spend my days exploring the big city where it most likely resides; meet new people that fascinate me, excite me, make me smile...

Why is this not all so grand anymore? I've always dreamed of leaving this god-forsaken town, running like a madman out of dark hospital corridors and into the bright and shining world.

Why am I so numb? In one way it is blessing, that I will not crash and burn in anguish as I get rejected from every Ivy to which I apply. The people around me think it is a curse. I feel as if the wind could pick up my feather frame, more elvish every day, and carry me half-way around the world and still I would be fine. If M and I were gypsy vagrants, soaking in sunshine and raindrops, I would be just fine.


  1. you should just take a break. can you? even an hour, just to relax, pamper yourself a little, paint your nails, lose yourself in a good book, something like that?

    loveyou sweetie.

  2. no matter what happens and how numb you feel now the future will come and you will love it. take some time to just be. go outside and feel the wind or the sun or the rain on your skin. and breathe. and feel the numbness lift for a second. love you, io

  3. I love the line about the bright and shining world.... beautiful. I hope things start shining for you again soon.


  4. such stunning instances all captured in a photograph. xx