Saturday, March 19, 2011
Oh my gods. I'm really quite stupid. Crashing hard because I can, and because I missed being here in this world. So I numbed myself down as much as I could, and I revelled in beautiful photographs and your beautiful angels' words.
So what is really new? I'm getting college acceptances, but none of significance yet. Which would more rightly be called rejections, to be honest. I'd rather have low standards then be crushed.
Almost my one-year anniversary with M. He still does not know how to help me, and insists I am pushing him away. When we are together we are chemistry and laughter; when we are apart I feel needy and used and he feels nothing. I wish I could feel nothing.