So I was looking at an assignment I was given in my Spanish class, meant to be in the style of a journal entry: What do you fear? And this got me thinking about things that I obviously couldn't write about for my Spanish homework. Because honestly, at this moment I can only think of one thing that I fear..
I'm not scared of heights or bugs or horror movies, nothing unfounded like that. I'm not even afraid of death or failure, not directly. I am worried, though, that I will use one to negate the other.
If I somehow teleported to the future and saw that I was alone, with a lousy job, and a chubby face, and an unfulfilling life, there would be almost no reason to stay on this Earth you know? I know that some of you would agree with me on this..
But what I'm really worried about is, what if I miscalculate? What if success and happiness was actually just around the corner? What if my vision continues to become distorted, and my life is just about perfect but I just cannot see it? What if my pupils grow wider as my hands grow thinner, what if the world becomes a fun house of mirrors and cackling laughter while i sink to my knees, nauseous, begging the spinning to stop
And it would be all in my head, and I would be finally blind.