Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I miss home. Ever since a few months, home has been defined as the haven where I can fall gracefully. Where I can bring melancholic truth up to an art form, instead of ignoring it and ignoring it until it bubbles up--which I then have to suppress as best I can.

I'm being good. I'm stable, taking three little pills precisely every day. No playing around with the dosage so that I'd be the equivalent of a crackhead one week, and depressed the next. Which was, frankly, fun to do and entertaining and a way to lessen the mundane. Nope, not this summer. I have too much college-geared stuff to do. It is essential that I am consumed by the mundane.

sigh But in other news, I am getting very annoyed and flustered at the fact that every scale I get on has a different number to tell me. I've known my home analog scale was wrong, but here at my grandmother's house is another, more modern analog scale. That says I've about reached my goal weight. But according to the last one I've got on, which I've kept in my mind as showing my real weight, I'm seven pounds heavier! It was digital, but it was months ago. This is damn confusing...

I guess it's not like it really matters. There was never a goal, really. I mean, I suppose I expected to work on maintaining. But what can I say? I'm addicted to extremes.


  1. I also hate that about scales. I was convinced my doctor was setting the scale because I was always lighter and I couldn't understand why. When I told this to man nurse he told me I was paranoid and that I should step on his scale to prove they are the same. I replied, I am not falling for that one, I am not stepping on that scale. Maybe I was a tad paranoid!

    Anyway, that was random, lovageeeeeee x

  2. Ah the digital scales in my house are like that too >.< I'm more inclined to believe mine because

    a) It's newer
    b) My mom has never used it, so her fat couldn't have messed it up (though mine very well could have >.<)
    c) It's more convenient to use every day

  3. i never go on different scales, but always stick to the one under my bed. if not i just expose myself to unneccesary panic, because the numbers are never the same. how about investing in a set of new scales and just trusting them? can i ask how much you weigh? i'm glad to hear that you're having such a mundane time :) sounds like you're doing really good.

    love, io

  4. well, the thing is I don't want to look suspicious buying a scale XP But I am about 95 lbs and 5'3" it seems small I guess but I've always been small and yet not looked incredibly thin

    Haha glad to known Im not the only one to get paranoid...