I feel like an idiot. College is great, so long as I don't let my mind think for a moment about home. People are nice, they really are, but today is not a good people day. What I mean is, they can be, frankly,
annoying. Not only that, but sometimes they make me feel as if I don't belong. Ha, it's as if I'm not human myself.
So I went to my room, where I am now. Started ogling thinspiration and little mottos like
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And who would've guessed the feeling that would arrive? What a trigger. I'm basically shooting myself.
I can't help wanting to be held. To feel pretty. To feel valued. These people are strangers, and I want to be kissed by a friend.
I felt so strange when I was going to college. People had been nice, but they were never close enough to me to be called my friend. I felt so weird. I didn't like it. Hopefully you'll feel better and feel like you belong soon.
ReplyDeleteI started classes a week ago and OH MY GOD is it the most stressed out I've ever been. It's supposed to get better. I guess the solution is to keep a stiff upper lip and let your ED give you tunnel vision? That's the terribly healthy solution I settled on, anyhow.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! It's so pretty!